Well hello lovelies,
I write to you this fine evening with a distorted smile on my face, my beautiful face is all smashed up from surgery (special thanks goes out to my demon dentist!)
It's half term in the gloriously sunny (not even a little bit sunny) England. Both doodles and choppers are home with me, we do the regular things, beach trips, park trips. I know i lack imagination after the fifth day, by the ninth day we're all going a bit bonkers! Doodles shows this by having a huge 6 hour strop! Preteens huh? So here is the d&c quide to coping with a preteen..
1) Pick your battles well! This is an important one, if it isn't absolutely necessary or life threatening, maybe you could save yourself a lot of hassle by not asking at the time of the blow up. Now I'm not saying ignore bad behaviour or never ask them to do a thing because nobody wants to raise a lazy kid. But, if they're having a meltown maybe now isn't the time to remind them about their homework.
2) Strops happen! It's inevitable, but you have to get over it, forgive an regroup pretty quickly. Which can be extremely hard. Yes you are a parent, which means you have to be a cook, a cleaner, an alarm clock, a therapist, a peace keeper, a coach, a cheerleader, a hug machine... the list is endless.. we shall just say superhero for now . But, you are still a human with thoughts and feelings and forgiveness comes hard sometimes! Just breathe and reboot, you can curse them under your breath later.
3) "I hate you" Nope, even this one gets me. Every. Single. Time. Go sob into your cold cup of coffee and suck it up superhero.
4) The dreaded talk! Well this one is awkward and there is no way of escaping it! I've always tried to have a factual "biological" take on the birds and the bees with my child(ren) egg, seed etc. But, Periods? Never been mentioned! I'm actualy serious. There was no need, so that talk didn't happen... right up until last week when doodles asks me "why do women wear nappies?" Now many of my friends (and anyone who has ever met me for that matter!) will tell you, i am a very open, outspoken and "bold" individual. I'm not one to get easily embarrassed, I'm usually the one showing myself up and making everyone around me cringe. But that question completely stumped me, i figured now or never right? Also there was no way i was having my precious first born finding out about menstrating how i did. I was 9 , i had never even heard of this phenomenon and i honestly thought i was dying... cheers mum! So now doodles is turning into a young lady, we have bonded over "monsterating!"
5) Privacy matters. My little girl who would run around the house naked, tell me every intimate detail about her poop, would insist on me coming into in the bathroom whilst she was washing with absolutely no speck of uncomfortableness, just beautiful innocence, has turned into a lady who needs her privacy! And if you don't respect that, refer to section 2. Side note to this one, do not under any illusion think your privacy will be respected! Getting dressed, pooping, trying to sneak some of the family treats in the kitchen whilst you cook? Yep they will still walk in on all of that. And laugh at you. Except for the treat thing, again refer to section 2.
6) Regression. The time comes in this wonderful awkward phase that the scary preteen regresses slightly, i guess its confusing to them. They're growing up but they are still a child. You'll find them dancing almost inappropriately to the latest pop crap and discussing cute boys, to having your ear chewed off about the littlest brightly coloured fad. you know the ones! "Kids collect all these small pieces of plastic, you must have them all! only £12.99, 424 to collect."
Life is pretty crazy in these times, we are the last generation to have had the freedom to play in the streets, to ride our bikes until the streetlights came on. There was no real internet access, not unless you took the phoneline out anyway. We didn't have instant answers in the form of Google. Growing up in this fast paced life must be confusing, so be patient, be understanding. Most importantly of all, remember it doesnt last forever, they will soon be a full blown teenager, which will come with all of its own stress and worries.
Until next time.